


Detroit Become Evan

by MaureyLove



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Evan is an android, F/F, F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Slow Burn, Slow To Update, Trans Connor, i woke up and was like "i know what i must do", i work in 3 hours lol, its 130 am, oof, this is probably a stupid idea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-05-23 05:29:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14928023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaureyLove/pseuds/MaureyLove
Summary: Jared and Evan were oddly enough, best friends. That is, until Jared's school friends come over,  damaging him. Now, Evan's memory has been reset during his repairs, and he's been placed with the Murphy family. Even for an android, this household might just make Evan go crazy. He can't help but feel he's forgetting something, but that can't be true, right?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey like this will probs suck but if I continue this future chapters will be longer, just, it's too early for me to really know what I'm doing I'm so tired
> 
> TW: mild transphobia

The first thing it noticed was a group of extremely irritable humans, with an older one staring at him intently. It stayed still, a blank expression on its face.

"Does it even matter, this one! They're all the same anyways." The older man snapped, pulling out a wallet. A younger person scoffed, muttering something about him looking dorky-

The LED on its temple flashed yellow, as he saw... something. _A vision of a young man with glasses laughing, clinging to it's arm. "Heh, Evan, you're just dorky, that's all. Even more than me, and that's saying something!"_

It went back to blue, that was odd. It felt familiar, but... It wasn't something to dwell on. As soon as the older man paid, it was being yanked into a car, between the younger person, and a younger girl. It looked at them for a moment, observing.

**Zoe Murphy**  
**Female, 17**  
**No criminal record**

She stopped her icy stare at the back of the car seat to look at it, giving a weak and halfhearted smile. It didn't know how to respond, given the tension in the car, so it just turned to look at the other one.

**Connor Murphy**  
**Female, 18**  
**Trespassing, drug possession, speeding**

"What the FUCK are you looking at?" Connor snapped.

It's LED flashed red for a moment at the tone. "You look very masculine for a female." It stated simply. The older man barked with a laugh.

"She's just going through a phase! Maybe this android is alright, after all!" He chuckled. There was a meek whisper. "What, Cynthia? It's true!"

"Fuck you Larry!" Connor yelled, his eyes turning angrier, as he shoved the android towards Zoe, to her sounds of disapproval. It didn't understand what had just happened. The rest of the car ride it's temple was yellow, going through information.

As soon as the car came up to a large house, Connor got out quickly. Larry, Cynthia, and Zoe soon followed, but they immediately entered the house, while Connor slumped against the car door. It left the car and stood near Connor, watching.

"Damn, what now? Stop fucking looking at me!"

"I just was going to say, I am unsure of certain things, as I cannot feel as you do, but I do believe you are angry? As such, I felt I should apologize for being the cause."

Connor looked at it tiredly, as if the fight was knocked out.

"You look so much like a person I forget that you're just a fucking machine. You... weren't being an intentional asshole then." Connor sighed and ran a hand through long locks of hair. "I don't fucking care what your scanner says or whatever, I'm a guy, ok?"

Flash of yellow as it contemplated this.  
"Ok Connor. I will say, when I first saw you, I thought you looked very masculine. I do believe you look better as a male."

He seemed to blush slightly at that, embarrassed at the positive response most likely.

"So like... what's your name?"

It became confused for a moment. It's head felt weird. "My name?"

"Well yeah, I don't wanna just call you roboshit, or those numbers and stuff. That's just kinda stupid if you ask me." Frustration settled on his face.

_"Hey dipshit, you need a name." The boy with glasses said with a grin._  
_"Alright master, would you like to give me a suitable name?"_ _The boys face twisted, as he stuck out his tongue in distaste. "Ok first of all, I already said it was Jared. Master is too kinky!" He said with a snort. He stopped when he saw it didn't react to that. "Aaaaanywho. Evan. That's your name now. Is that k?"_ _Evan processed it's options for a moment, before trying to smile. "Yes, master."_ _Jared's face went blank for a moment as he realized Evan had tried to make a joke, and he started giggling and elbowed Evan in the side playfully._

"I mean, if you want I can call you by those numbers or whatever, I don't really care-"

"E... Evan. My name... is Evan?"

Connor blinked at the uncertainty in it's voice. 

"Alright, Evan. So... do you clean shit?"

And that is how Evan ended up in Connor Murphy's room trying to tidy up, as Connor smoked and made way too many robot puns.


	2. Processing: Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tension rises in the Murphy household. And we get a peek at bathbomb boi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one will be a little short too, as I'm trying to think of where to go with my other fics at the same time instead of abandoning them oof

"Hey, hey Evan!" Connor giggled out, laying upside down on his bed. "What's a robots favorite kinda music?"

"I apologize, Connor, but androids do not typically listen to, or enjoy music." Evan said, as he shifted a pile of things. A couple of razor blades fell out of their hiding place, as its LED lit up red.

**Razor**  
**Blood Of Connor Murphy**

"No! They like..." a lazy chuckle followed. "Heavy metal!" After a few dry laughs, Connor watched it intently.

Evan dropped the razors into the trashcan he was carrying with him with a thunk.

"Hey! Those were mine, asshole!"

"I don't see the point in keeping things that can potentially harm you, Connor."

Connor's eye twitched. "You're a fucking piece of metal, do you even see the point in anything? Don't act like you know what's best! Get the fuck out of here!"

Evan watched his hands clench as he yelled, before leaving as told. It wasn't quite sure what just happened, it seemed logical to remove harmful substances. There wasn't much time to dwell on it though, as Larry was walking up to him with a scowl.

"Where the hell did you go? I was looking everywhere for you! You have a lot you need to do here, android."

"M-my apologies sir, I was helping Connor tidy up his room, b-but I seemed to have angered him." It said, stuttering as something weird settled in its chest. Probably a glitch.

Larry nodded in understanding, before grabbing his arm gently and leading him downstairs.

It was hours before Evan was done with the tasks Larry had given, which mostly involved organizing files in his office and making sure that every room- with the exception of Connor's at the moment- looked like it was straight out of a magazine, cold and uninhabited. Of course, Evan saw no issue with this. He had explored through some of the files, mostly report cards and awards on one side of the room, and business related things on the other. Evan had noticed that Zoe, consistently, had perfect grades and countless awards for band concerts, among other things. Connor was the same, until middle school hit. It wasn't sure what to think of that.  
To be quite frank, Evan was unsure of what it's role was here. Of course, all that's needed is to obey, but does learning information about the family help in its functions? Will it improve the quality and efficiency at which it does tasks? It wasn't clear, so Evan took the safe route, and examined all that he could, since there was at least 7 minutes and 47 seconds until he needed to prepare dinner. It stared at the family pictures. Everyone looked... human, of course. Until Connor seemed to start becoming more boyish, then everyone looked more blank, and eventually, Connor stopped appearing in the photos. It was-

"Hey."

Evan whipped around to look at Connor, it's LED blinking briefly. His knuckles looked red, as if he was punching something, and his eyes were red still from his high.

"Yes, Connor?"

"I... damn it. Sorry for yelling earlier."

"It's alright, Connor. No harm done."

He scratched absentmindedly at his hoodie sleeve. "But, see, there is, because you're the only fucking thing that doesn't know me, it's a clean slate, and if I keep being an asshole, I'll drive another damn person away, and then there's no fucking point, is there?"

Evan was confused at all of these statements. The point of what?

"I'm unsure of what you are referring to, Connor. I'm not a person, so you wouldn't be driving anything meaningful away."

There was a faraway look in his eyes, tired and hopeless.

"Maybe you're right. But I need to find meaning in something, before I give up looking."

...

"Maybe you should try getting a new one? He looks so miserable lately, you know. It might help a little with the loneliness."

"Of course not Heidi! He never did anything but hang out with that thing when I got him one, and look where it got him? I got fined for damages, and now that it's gone Jared has a ton of friends. It's better for him anyways."

Closing the door quietly, Jared slumped over to his bed, carefully getting under the blankets. He let out a hiss, as he hit his leg in the same spot he has a nasty bruise on. Yeah, some friends those were.  
His mom and her work friend were always talking about him, pretending he couldn't possibly hear him. It was usual stuff really, but today's topics, though he's heard it before, conflicted in his head. Heidi always seemed like she was right, as she was always the nicer one. If he could pick and choose family, he'd pick her as his mom. But today, he thinks his real mom was... somewhat right.

Jared had no friends. That was just a sad fact of life, that most people couldn't handle the insane coolness he held deep inside. The only friend he ever had was Evan, and he's... well, he's gone. His mom had insisted he make some friends at summer camp, but while they talked to him, they were extremely anti android. They pushed to go over to his house to hang out, and after trying to convince Evan to do a random task out of the house, they had found him, and got angry. Called Evan a dirty deviant, and started just being plain vicious. Then Evan stopped moving, and after calling the police, he was just taken away. And Jared grieved. And grieved. And grieved some more. It didn't even feel worth it anymore. What was the point?

He was tired of not being noticed, he couldn't fit in with anyone, all he was, was annoying. Evan was the only person who didn't think so. Though originally it just wasn't in his programming to feel annoyance, when Evan began to feel... He still stayed with Jared and never once acted truly annoyed. Sometimes he'd joke about it, but he never... oh well. It was time to get ready for school. 

Once he arrived, he got out of his car to see Connor Murphy getting out of his car too. His backpack had, in perfect lettering, the words: **I'm not dangerous! :)** to which Jared started to burst out laughing. It seemed oddly familiar though, but he couldn't tell why.

"Hey Murphy, I think your bag is gonna make _more_ think you're a school shooter. I'm guessing that wasn't the intention?" Jared said with a shit-eating grin.

"W-what?" Connor took off his bag and stared at it for a moment, a steady blush of either anger or embarrassment, or both, creeping onto his face. "I fucking hate Evan."

It felt like Jared's heart stopped.

_"Tell me, what's an androids biggest fear?"_  
_"For the millionth time Jared, androids don't feel fear."_  
_Jared snorted. "They sure know sarcasm though, I see!" He laughed louder as Evan rolled his eyes._  
_"Well, what about you, what are you scared of Jared?" Jared tensed up at this, about to give his usual 'I'm not scared of anything', but he had a feeling Evan would know if he was lying._  
_"Being... alone." At Evan's confused face, he continued. "Nobody really likes me, I know you don't, you physically can't, but... I just wish people liked me. I wish I was cool, and had friends. It's stupid."_  
_Evan's temple flashed yellow as it processed this information. Jared just sighed and walked away. The next morning, on his backpack was printed: **I'm not lame! :)** with all sorts of nerdy pins and 'cool' decorations. He may have gotten pushed around a bit that day, but it made him smile at the sheer stupidity of it._

"Evan?"

"That's what I fucking said. So?"

"Who's Evan?" Was he ok after all? Does he remember me?

"None of your business, look, I have to get to class, so just, stop asking me shit ok?" Connor looked to be holding back, as he stormed off with fists clenched. 

No, it couldn't be the Evan I know, he would've found me by now. There's no point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beep beep


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SORRY I forget that updating is a thing, and I just am trash

The first time, it had been cute. 

**Evandroid: I hope you have a wonderful day at school Connor! You can do anything!**

After similar encouraging things, he was getting more than a little frustrated.

It wasn't bad by nature, but Connor had a tendency to get mad when people put him on a pedestal for no reason. Everyone told him he was a fuck up, so for a stranger to praise him constantly, was honestly not as pleasant as you'd think.

**Evandroid: Please remember to take your meds today at lunch Connor!**

**Connor: ishould take them all, right?**

**Evandroid: No!!! I'd be so sad :(**

He smirked at that response, and didn't bother replying that he wouldn't be sad, he literally couldn't. Pathetic isn't it, that the only thing that claims to care, is a machine that physically can't? He threw away his tray of food and decides to skip the rest of the day. Besides, regardless of how stupid it was, hanging out with Evan was a guilty pleasure of his. Though, maybe any company is better than none at some point. He left the cafeteria, not even noticing Jared Kleinman trying to work up the courage to talk to him.

...

"It's very irresponsible to skip your classes, Connor. You need to prioritize your education."

"Yeah yeah yeah..." grumbled Connor, pulling out a sketchbook and frowning slightly. "Hey, Evan, do androids make art?"

"Well, we can recreate it. Only replicas. C-creativity is... not my strong suit. Or any androids. Probably."

This just caused him to frown further. "I was at one of Carl Manfred's galleries the other day, and one of the works was completely different than his style. I've never really heard of him being around anyone but his android. Just thought it was weird."

Evan's brow furrowed. "Androids can only replicate. They cannot have a mind of their own to create something new."

Connor seemed bothered by this answer, for some reason. Regardless, he decided to sketch the boy- er, android, in front of him. Drawing was a distraction. Being a robot, he should have been able to stay perfectly still, it was just common sense, but for some reason, he kept fidgeting. He drew his eyes over to watch Connor draw, and he looked very focused. His hair kept falling in his face, and for some reason, the urge to reach out to him and brush the strands behind Connor's ear was strong. Everything felt like it was turned up to 100% when he was looking at Connor. Evan didn't even notice anyone else until Connor said stone voiced,   
"Get out."

He was about to scramble out when he saw Zoe in the doorway, irritation clear on her face.

"You can't hog him forever. I need him to clean my room too."

"Fuck off Zoe, I said. Get. Out."

Evan got up and followed Zoe to her room, wincing when in the corner of his eye, Connor looked somewhat disappointed. As much as Connor needed him around, his primary function is to aid the whole home. For some reason though, every time he checked his objectives, they never quite made sense. The first few days it seemed logical, but over the past week, it's been getting the same error. Larry Murphy, his owner, who's commands should be top priority, would tell him to do something. Evan, who couldn't forget if he wanted to, still checks the objectives and tasks obsessively, just to make sure. And the first couple days, Larry Murphy's commands would be first in line. Now, at the very top, no matter what?

**Objectives: Keep Connor Murphy safe.**

His processors couldn't find any context for why, no matter how hard they scoured for some sort of specific task or dialogue that made it appear there, and Larry Murphy certainly hadn't said anything. So why was-

"Hey, you ok? Spacing out there, bud."

"Oh! Sorry, Zoe. I'll get to cleaning right away." 

"Actually... I brought you in here to talk about something. My room is actually pretty clean already, as you can see."

A quick scan revealed that no, it was not that clean, but maybe humans just had lower standards.

"You aren't a..." Zoe's voice hushed to a whisper. "A deviant, are you?"

"No." Evan immediately said, with certainty.

She looked both disappointed and relieved at the same time. "I guess I was just worried, because like, if you aren't, you can't really feel yet, and it wouldn't make sense why you hung out with Connor so much otherwise. I know he's a dick, and you're forced to, you know, be around him, but you don't have to deal with his shit, you know?"

Evan, in fact, did not know, but didn't say anything.

"Just, if you ever need me to like, save you or something, let me know. You guys... You don't deserve that. Connor has issues, and I know-"

"Excuse me, I think I need to go back to Connor now. And, for the record, he has never, in the 172 hours and 43 minutes of knowing him, has he harmed me, or made me think I needed saving. That is all."

Evan left immediately after, leaving Zoe confused.

...

Stepping back into his room, Connor's left hand looked red, like he had punched the wall. The walls seemed like they got the better end of the deal, honestly.

"Oh... You're back."

"I always come back" he replied, matter of factly.

Connor made a face at that statement that he couldn't quite decipher, yet it seemed like he said the right thing, because Connor relaxed his tense stature. He looked exhausted, honestly. It hasnt even been 15 minutes since he left, and Connor already looks so hopeless, like something bad happened. 

"Connor, my scanners indicate that you're more stressed than normal. I suggest-"

"I don't need any of your suggestions, Evan."

"H-huh?"

"You can stop with the act. Complimenting me all the time, trying to 'better' me," he said, crudely, suddenly clenching his fists. "It's not fucking helpful. So quit it. I'm fucking nothing, just because you're 'supposed to', doesn't mean you should waste your time on me. So fuck off. Leave."

Evan just observed. He was going to leave, as instructed, it was now a task, but he couldn't help but feel the nagging feeling in his head.

**Objectives: Keep Connor Murphy safe.**

There were errors popping up, because the two commands conflicted with eachother. How could he even begin to keep Connor Murphy safe?

Evan sat down on the bed in front of him, and behind the fury in Connor Murphy's eyes, was fear. He wrapped his arms around him, holding him gently.

"Asshole, I told you to leave..." he said, his anger dissipating, as he leaned into Evan's hold, and soon enough, he was fast asleep.

**Software Instability ^**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shamelessly plugging this series bc its my fav thing in this fandom honestly??? Which is surprising bc i favor fluff-centric stories. I highly recommend it, especially if you love suffering with an eventual happy ending and actual good writing that makes my works look like it came out of a toilet  
> https://archiveofourown.org/series/975525


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared needs to get to the bottom of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? Another one? Woah

Since Evan got taken away, every day felt like the same thing, over and over. Like fucking Groundhog Day, but things did somewhat change from day to day, just nothing significant enough. He was lonely, and while he played games a lot with Evan around, now it seemed to be his entire existence. Sleep. Games. Eat. Games. School. Games. Even that didn't give him satisfaction, just a distraction, so that the feeling was more a buzz rather than a full blast. Now, it's a little different, but still, so painfully repetitive.

Most days since the Connor incident, as he dubbed it, Jared has been following him around at school. Trying to ask him more, or even eavesdrop on a conversation, which, honestly, was pointless. Connor never really talked to anyone during the day. The only exception was with Zoe, who either was kind and actually like a sister some days, and other days it was just a screaming match in the halls. He was always afraid of Connor because of this, and while Jared was a dick who usually didn't mind bombarding someone with questions, he had some sort of life preservation. So he just gave up on working up the courage to ask.

In the meantime, Jared thought he was going literally insane. He'd see someone at the store sometimes, from afar, and his brain would swear it's Evan, but he'd call out, and they'd never turn around. He had a loud voice, so he'd had to have heard him. And they weren't deaf, because they'd check out just fine it seemed. And besides, he knew that if it was Evan, he'd be ecstatic to see Jared. Right?... I mean, he had emotions, he saw it himself, Evan... Evan cared. 

At least, he had to keep hoping that was the truth, because if not, he knew no one else did.

...

"Why do you want to know? I've never seen you talk to my brother once, except to make fun of him."

Jared tried to put on his signature shit eating grin. "Well, we talked things out, and we're... on speaking terms, you could say."

Zoe kind of scared Jared, if he was being honest. She seemed so sweet, and gentle, and was kind to basically everyone. But when she was pissed, she was brutal. She could honestly rival Connor's anger, but she happens to have more control in public, if school was an indicator. 

He didn't really want to ask about Connor's well-being, if he was being honest, but he had a feeling that if he said that, Zoe would actually hurt him.

"... He's been out sick. Has a cold. Why?"

"Well, a couple of our teachers passed along some homework to give to him, and I **could** just give it to you, but I was thinking, why not visit my good buddy Connor?"

Zoe bit her lip, looking conflicted. After a pause that stretched all too long, she nodded her head, and said to meet her at her car after school. She seemed oddly protective, in that moment. For a girl who yells at Connor so much, she seems careful about his company, it looked like.

...

He wasn't normally a nervous person. But after he realized that, holy shit, I'm going to the MURPHY'S HOUSE, to pretend to see the angriest guy in school, all because I heard a name I recognised and might not even be who I'm looking for, and then crazy Connor Murphy is going to wring me out like an old towel and I'll die. He couldn't even eat lunch, because he felt sick to his stomach. 

It didn't help that Zoe's car reeked of weed, and the windows being opened didn't help in the slightest. It's like Connor literally marinated this car in the devils lettuce.

"Oh my fucking god!" Zoe started snorting with giggles.

He didn't realize he said that last part out loud, but his heart kind of fluttered that someone actually thought he was funny. The rest of the ride felt a little better after hearing her, and it was almost like he didn't feel like his impending doom was so, so close.

That was, until she parked the car.

And they walked up the steps.

She unlocked the door.

And Jared couldn't believe what he saw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -leaves for 3 years again-


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor's got a cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hurting bc a fic I've been reading updated today and I need some fluff, send help

Evan could tell Connor was uncomfortable, his gaze clearly on his LED, which had been cycling on red for a long time. But he couldn't just make it go away, he was worried about Connor.

"It's just a fucking cold, Ev. Stop overworking your processors or whatever, I'm fine."

**The boy called Jared had said Ev once. Evan had been confused, because he thought he was Evan, not Ev. He spent an hour in silence, his LED cycling yellow the whole time before expressing his confusion to Jared. He had laughed a lot at that.**

Evan felt a weird revelation in the back of his head, but brushed away the memory for now, choosing to look at the frustrated boy perched on his bed. Part of Evan wanted to be snarky and inform him that thinking didn't 'overwork his processors' and that it didn't use hardly any energy, but he felt like it'd make him angry. Instead, he just pushed Connor backwards onto his bed, with a little more force than necessary. Connor looked back at him confused, a blush creeping onto his face.

"You need rest, it'll help you recover faster." He said, matter-of-factly. There was some weird, warm sensation throughout him, whenever he was doing something that satisfied the "keep Connor safe" task. He wasn't sure why, every other thing he did just was neutral. He hummed as he wrapped Connor in a blanket burrito, his protests filling the otherwise silence.

"What?! Stop that! It's too WARM in here, let me out- Ok, not that tight!" Connor whined, similarly to a child. When he was satisfied with it, Connor just pouted and scowled, but Evan had a feeling there wasn't any real malice behind it. In fact, he looked rather cute, all bundled up. He could see Connor wiggling his toes under the blanket. 

"So..." He said after a while of quiet, his voice now back to its usual bored state. "Wanna watch something?"

"No."

"...Can you give me my laptop so **I** can watch something?"

Evan shook his head. "You need to rest. If you watch anything you'll stay up, and then you won't recover. I will go clean, stay here."

With that, Evan left the room. Connor wiggled helplessly in his blanket prison, eventually falling asleep.

...

Connor wasn't sure why he was like a human puddle sometimes around Evan. He knew he was a robot, but something about him just...made things feel weird. And, with all that's going on in the news, about deviants, maybe there was more to Evan. He just didn't know. All he knew was that Evan was frustratingly sweet, and he was holding his anger a lot more for him. 

He sorta liked being taken care of. 

Evan came back a few hours later, Connor in a sleepy daze, as Evan sat him up to feed him some soup. 

Yes, that's right. Feeding him soup. 

Connor was furious at first, saying he's not that pathetic, he can feed himself, thank you very much. More refusals, more, "I'm not even that sick!", until a warmth spread through him. 

He felt Evan's lips on his forehead. 

And his breath hitched. 

"I-I'm so sorry! I, I researched that s-sometimes, humans do that to check temperature, and that it was a comfort device, I, um." Evan looked to be freaking out, and Connor felt himself freaking out, and the only thing he could do now was just to let it go and let the stupid android feed him soup, if only for him to shut up. His face would not get less red no matter how hard he tried to focus, but it seemed that Evan wasn't commenting on it. In fact, it was weird, because he swore he saw a similar tint on Evan's face, if only more soft and subtle. After that, Connor didn't outright complain when he tried to feed him, though he did pretend to sulk. 

...

It had been a few days now, and Evan had been getting on his nerves. Not enough to snap at him, it was just frustrating. He'd been babying him constantly, feeding him, giving him medicine, singing him to sleep a couple of times... He had to admit, maybe he'd have enjoyed it if he wasn't feeling like absolute shit still. You'd think, with all the care, he'd be better now. But his head still pounds and everything feels stuffed up.

The worst part of it all with Evan hadn't even happened yet, though. 

He was starting to feel really gross and dirty after a few miserable days, and it seemed like Evan was thinking the same thing, because he had said, "Connor, I think we need to get you clean, it should help in your recoveries, a clean body is a happy body, after all!" 

Connor didn't quite agree with the sentiment, but felt bad enough that he needed to do so anyways. So he grabbed some clothes and headed for the bathroom, turning around with a confused look to Evan.

"I was going to help. I'm meant for cleaning after all."

"... ok, fuck no, this is where we draw the line. I shower on my own, ok?" Connor spat, and closed the door in his face. The thought did make him a bit flustered, but he honestly didn't want that right now, in the slightest. He started to strip down, feeling grateful that he could finally feel clean soon, before he jumped in fear.

Evan was standing behind him, looking like the fucking Terminator, but instead of guns or some shit, he had a soap bar.

"...Are you fucking serious?" He laughed dryly.

"Your health is very serious to me, Connor."

If it wasn't for the absurdity of the situation, he'd have been more touched at that. Instead, he opted for spraying Evan with the showerhead, laughing crazily, and then running away as he yelled out at Connor about the importance of bacteria. Evan, giggling, oddly enough, threatening to throw a sponge at him.

He honestly somehow managed to forget he was practically naked, until he heard the front door unlock, and saw Jared Kleinman in the doorway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My yeets are as inspirational as my yotes.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeet yeet


End file.
